Tidbits of Truth from a Military Brats Journey

It is funny how the Lord ministers to us and refines us constantly while we are ministering to other people. Over the last couple of weeks He has been showing me that it is my heart and my obedience and surrender to His will in my life that ultimately draws people to Himself. It is not all about programs and the words that I say, but the way in which I choose to live.

I will have to admit as cliche as it sounds I have always been a little rebellious military brat... I would like to blame it on my "strict" military upbringing... ha ha but my family really wasn't that strict. Dad never made us make our beds with hospital corners or call him sir. Honestly, I think my rebellion is just my good ole' fashion selfishness and some of my type A personality. So needless to say obedience to anyone, even the Lord, tends to take a lot of self control and a conscious effort on my part. I have always been pretty independent... that basically comes with the territory when you are raised in the Army... and whenever someone tells me to do something I shudder a little inside. I will admit this tendency in me has toned down a TON since I have been walking with the Lord, but it still rears its ugly head now and again.

So a couple of weeks ago the Lord just impressed upon my heart the verse "Create in me a Pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast Spirit within me." Psalm 51:10... as I have been meditating on this verse I have been thinking about Matthew 5:8 which is one of my favorite verses... "Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God." I kept asking the Lord if those two verses are connected... I debated with the Lord... really Lord so you want me to allow You to purify ALL parts of my heart...surrender EVERYTHING to you... but what if I miss out on something good... are you sure that you aren't keeping me from something good? Of course you and I both know that these are lies, but I confess I entertained these thoughts in my mind for a while.

Jump ahead a couple of days and it was crazy I started to do a word study on the Holy Spirit and Psalm 51:10 came up... and wouldn't you believe that after all of that time meditating on verse 10 I never looked to see what came after... this is what it says:

"Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

Right then it hit me. Surrendering and Obedience is not about giving stuff up... it is not about doing what is right cause God says that it is right... It is about longing for His presence and Seeking Him more than anything else...LOVING HIM more than anything else... Being sustained in the joy of the salvation that He provides... the two verses ARE connected and you know what... I WANT TO SEE GOD!!! I want to be in His presence continually and I don't want ANYTHING to get in the way of or distract me from that!! I don't think I am ever going to look at obedience the same ever again!!